Snow in April
My little nephew suddenly runs up to her and starts patting her shoulder, “Grandma, Grandma wake up” The world around me starts to crumble. I feel something inside of me waking up, but I don’t want to wake it up…I feel it trying to break free from my control. People start to arrive. Good. I have it under control again. I talk to people. I can’t get over how many people are here. It’s so nice. I smile I even laugh. Suddenly, we are ushered away into another room and we are being lined up. It feels like a wedding. We come back out to where my mom is waiting for us to take her into the sanctuary. I walk forward. Oh no. Oh no, they didn’t. What did they do? Why? Why? Why? They closed her in the box. She won’t be able to breathe in there!!! I move forward I want to stop this from happening, but it’s starting to crack. No. I can’t breathe it hurts to bad, nothing has ever hurt so bad. My heart feels as if it’s been pierced by a scalding hot knife.
Someone screams. It’s the most agonizing scream I’ve ever heard…it’s pitiful and full of mourning, it’s my voice—I am screaming. My mom is gone. My beautiful mom, my best friend, my safe place. My mom is gone. I am empty. I am broken. I fall to the ground.